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those little raindrops, made me felt in love.
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without you, what am i?
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fairytales, how i wished they existed.
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don't leave, when i need you.
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what's over, is over.
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you don't understand me. oh well, no one bothered to anyway.
i'm just so tired of living life happily.
i get so tired of people and things happening around me so easily.
nevermind. someone just tell me how happy do i look on the outside? VERY? oh well.
sometimes i ask myself. why can't i have a HAPPY family like everyone else? okay, maybe not everyone. but most of them. i'm so tired of going home and i hear you scolding and shouting like there's no tomorrow. seriously, people come up to me asking me what's wrong. after telling them, i was told to apologize for things which i didn't do wrong. i mean like. okay, try being in my shoes. i tried talking to them NICELY. and they just went SHOUTING in my face. you sure this is my fault? okay, maybe it is to some of you. k, all my fault lorh. we used to be so close. and i don't know what happen.
sorry if you guys think that i'm drifting away from you guys. i've never want that to happen. i swear. i never. well, maybe you would not believe me. but, ya. i'm tired of explaining already.
i dk what is happening to me. getting sadder and sadder day by day. crying and crying every night. sorry. it's not that i dw to share with you guys how i'm feeling. but you guys have your own problems and may think i'm attracting attention or whatsoever. but. i'm typing all this out not because i want everyone to come up to me asking me whats wrong, care for me more than they used to, i just need to express out my feelings.
and you. i guess i can't like you anymore. not because i found someone better. you're still the best. just that the way you treat me makes me feel so tired of liking you already. so ya, you won't get to read this anyway. so just treat it as i've never liked you before? it's okay. since i'm the only one hurt.
Monday, 26 March 2012
05:47
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don't ask why am i crying.
heyyo.
yeah, common test is over. yayy? got back my maths and science results. maths...okay, not too bad. but science.... getting back more results next week. hope i survive next week.
and, this is for you. although i dk will you be seeing this or not. i guess even if you see it, you won't know its you yeah.
i seriously dk what i am to you. friend? schoolmate? good friend? or a stranger? i have so many things to tell you okay. and you only talk to me when you feel like, and after i reply, you start giving me cold replies. like that might as well don't talk to me. i have to wait like 1-2hours for your next reply. sometimes, i really want to know what am i to you. someone to go to for entertainment? or someone to compare your results with? and when i get higher than you, you not happy. than attitude me. you dk how much you affect my mood. when we're chatting happily, i'm fucking happy. but when you start ignoring me/give me cold replies, i start asking myself what did i do wrong. and start apologizing. you will then give me that '=.=' face and tell me you're not angry. if you're not angry than don't make me feel like you are! now, even if you're online, i dare not talk to you anymore. but, i really really want to talk to you!D: fuck, you make me feel like i'm nothing to you. okay, if i'm nothing to you, than so be it. i'm willing to be nothing for you.
Saturday, 25 February 2012
03:54
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i smile like nothing's wrong, talk like everything's perfect and pretend that i'm really strong- Am i not the most perfect actress ever?
hai.
i'm tired of crying. i'm tired of yelling. i'm tired of being sad. i'm tired of pretending. i'm tired of being alone. i'm tired of being angry. i'm tired of feeling crazy. i'm tired of feeling stuck. i'm tired of needing help. i'm tired of remembering. i'm tired of missing things. i'm tired of being different. i'm tired of missing people. i'm tired of feeling worthless. i'm tired of feeling empty inside. i'm tired of not being just able to let go. i'm tired of wishing i could start all over. i'm tired of dreaming a life that i will never have. but most of all, i'm just tired of being tired.
so yeah, that's how i'm feeling. okay, so bye. AND, YA. ILOVEWEIKAI. AS A FRIEND.(:
Tuesday, 31 January 2012
05:22
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i need to stop crying myself to sleep.
think of me? just once? no point explaining because no one cares to listen. heylo. i swear i hate making decisions, especially between people. no matter how much i wish for you to be mine, you'll never be. i act like everything's okay, when everything's not. okay, i dw write too much here. it makes me feel sad. okay, ending off with another pic.
dongqinnnn. no matter how much i try to stay happy, that feeling just wouldn't fade.
Monday, 9 January 2012
06:56
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people tend to forget the existence of others.
hey peeps.
have you guys ever had that feeling when you're doing good for someone and in the end, you get blamed for everything you've done? that feeling sucks alot, seriously. i dk why am i getting sadder and sadder by day. and it's only the 3rd going 4th day of school. why do i feel like i've been schooling for 3/4 months already. i don't like how things are now. dreading school every day. so many things running through my mind. i want to break free, from everything and everyone. i just need a break, a small one will do. i want to run away, from all this shits happening. i feel so stressed. i want to stay happy too. i want to be positive. but ... why must 2012 start off like this? i want to tell you how i feel. but i'm afraid of being rejected, avoided. i dk how long is this feeling gonna stay, but i make it go away, someday, i dk when.
sorry for ranting here, and thank you for reading it. (:
bye.(:
p.s. i'll try to stay happy.
dongqinnnn.
Thursday, 5 January 2012
06:58
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why aren't you proving me wrong?
heylo peeps, it's my birthday today!:D thanks for all the wishes.<3 had a blast with my girls. @shimin, gwennie, ade and mich.<3 was supposed to meet them at 12:30, but thought it was 1:15, and i was late.:O didn't went causeway and thus no cake was bashed on my face. (Y). went for lunch at kfc and saw sheena, jingrong and joyce!:D went to talk talk with them.xD than played laugh and talked with my girls. stayed until 3 plus. went shimin's house and reached around 4 plus. watched justin bieber's 'never say never'. and i think i fell in love with him again.<3.<3 went home at around 6:30.
today was almost perfect, but you made it slightly imperfect. expected you to be the first to wish me but ... hope you're enjoying yourself there. see you soon!<3
Thursday, 29 December 2011
07:33
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